I’m feeling under the weather today and I have a friend who is a Kings fan who traveled all the way across country for the game tonight. Since I’m a nice guy, I’d like to remind her of one quick thing:

It’s good to see some things never change

If you too are stuck at home with a TV this fine winter evening, do stop by won’t ya? And bring the family…since this is a family blog and all.

This game starts off about right…with a Naslund love-in for his 1,000 game. He is getting lots of silver-laced items and a trip to Hawaii. Why not a trip to Sweden?

18:21 – LaBarbera is getting pummeled by Sedins and a Burrows breakaway but nothing going yet.

15:27 – Ugh, the Kings defense sucks and the Vancouver offense sucks. They’re making him look like the second coming of Roy at this point. Canucks go to the powerplay for a holding call against someone in a purplish uni.

11:47 – KopiTARD!!! I just like screaming that name. Try it sometime.

8:52 – Isbister blows his coverage on Johnson and he pots his second career goal (both of which come at Canucks expense). Puke. 1-0 Kings.

8:51 – Haha, Vigneault is screaming at Crawford. I think a coach fight seems about right at the moment.

7:23 – The Canucks pop back and keep the pressure on LaBarbera. Hank just pinged the post with a shot and Ohlund drills one from the point but LaBarbera (I need a nickname for this guy, typing his name is annoying) snuffs that out too.

3:38 – Canucks head back to the powerplay with Modry taking a hooking call. Their first power play was atrocious so expect more of the same.

1:00 – As I predicted 120 seconds ago, the Canucks shit on another man advantage, getting no shots but still somehow maintaining decent pressure for half of the penalty. This period is going to end with the Canucks having dominating everything except LaBarbera…who henceforth will be dubbed Hanna…as in Hanna-Barbera. You know you love them, don’t lie.

End of Period 1 – Anytime you have to watch Jack Johnson celebrate you know somewhere babies are crying. The Kings head to the intermission with a lead they don’t deserve. **spits, punches wall**

(Start of Period 2)

18:00 – Jesus, the Canucks D doesn’t read the play behind the net well and I think Thornton had Luongo down and sprawled out. 2-0 the f’ing Kings. ** puke, spits, punches wall **

16:40 – Kesler rings it off the post and GM Place wakes up suddenly to the concept that the Canucks have an offense. Go back to sleep gentle people, nothing to see here but a team falling apart at the hands of the worst team in the league.

13:30 – Dustin Brown just rings one off the post and then, moments later, the Canucks can’t clear and he gets puck back and out waits Luongo for his 24th of the year. 3-0 Kings ** puke, spits, punches wall, kicks kitten across room **

11:05 – Miller goes to the box, Pyatt almost scores on a shothanded attempt, Hannah is still perfect and I’m run out of curse words so I’m switching over to Dutch profanities.

13:25 – If you are keeping a record at home (you masochist you) I believe Lui has given up three goals on his last nine shots.

9:45 – More play like this and the good news will be Sundin won’t want to come to Vancouver thereby keeping Nonis from shipping way too much to the Leafs for the aging Swede.

5:39 – As this Twilight Zone game continues, the fourth line of Cowan, Beech and Isbister finally solve the vaunted Hannah. And of people it was Isbister! It’s official: anything could happen in this game now. But the good guys finally get on the board. 3-1 Kings.

5:00 – I told you this game has become a shitshow. Now perennial four minutes a game GOD Trev Linden lights the lamp and humbles Hanna at the same time. Wham bam man. 3-2 Kings.

1:29 – So it’s Burrows’ fault that Brad Stuart is a shitty player and can’t skate? Just checking, I didn’t realize that too was worth two minutes in the box these days.

1:15 – I think MySpace needs to be dubbed MyCage until he gets that thing off. I like it though, makes him look a bit unstable and you can never have too many crazies on your favorite NHL squad.

End of Period 2 – This team has some life just when you thought it was time to go watch SNL (well, for me anyway). But the best of Tracey Morgan can’t hold a candle to a game where Isbister scores.

(Start of Period 3)

16:55 – I completely forgot the Kings have Nagy. There’s just very little to like about the Kings when you ponder it. Visnovsky goes to the box and the Canucks punch-drunk PP gets some more ice time.

15:00 – Remember when Salo used to have a booming shot from the point? Those were fun days. Sure beats those 12 foot high floaters.

11:15 – Ugh, Johnson almost made Edler his bitch, cutting in and undressing him as he drove towards the net. Shit, where’s Jan Bulis when you need him?

9:00 – Burrows and Cooke have a flurry of shots against Hanna. The third and fourth lines are doing a great job in the past 20 minutes or so.

7:39 – The weirdness continues unabated. Frolov takes a pass from Handzus and pops a harmless shot over Lui’s glove hand. Kings take control 4-2. ** puke, spits, punches wall, kicks kitten across room, crosses room and kicks kitten back the other way **

4:25 – Hang on a tick, the manchild makes an appearance. Modry makes a terrible clearing attempt, Raymond finds it and finds the five hole on Hanna. A fun ending awaits. 4-3 Kings.

2:05 – The Canucks had some good pressure, but couldn’t get any shots on the net again. Lui is about to get pulled.

1:21 – Lui’s out and Ohlund blasts one through a mess of humanity in front of Hanna. Final 70 seconds.

:16 – Holy Greg Louganis, Kesler got sprung by Henrik and just missed the equalizer. Damn…

Game Recap: The team that never gets any shots on goals gets stymied 38 times by Hanna on (once again) the worst team in the league? Yeah, that’s pretty frustrating. At least the Canucks didn’t lay over and die, but four wasted power plays and a terribly off game by Luongo certainly made this way easier for the Kings. That’s three straight wins for the purple boys over Vancouver, so it’s sort of like last year when the Canucks couldn’t beat the Blues even though the rest of the conference was pounding the snot out of them. Perhaps we should just resign ourselves to the fact the franchise is generous to the worst teams like this year to year and move on bravely towards the Monday night tilt against the Wild. Agreed? Agreed.