R to the R

Aug 16th, 2008 | By Mike | Category: Lead Story, Offseasons Suck, The outside world

Hannibal will solve everything in due course

Yup, the dead of summer means no real news that isn’t made up in people’s minds. I guess the GM’s deserve a break. Fine, I’ll be nice.

So whatever, I’m outta here too for a week. And I will be dangerously close to Vancouver for the first time in my life. I may have to squint a bit to see but still…closeness counts.

Interestingly, I left for a week back in March when the Canucks were near the top of the division and returned in time to watch them fall out of it completely. Then I left again for a week in April, around the time Nonis was canned, and returned to see Mike Gillis was the new commander-in-chief.

So clearly I haven’t figured out yet if me leaving society either jinxes these guys or helps, but I assume all of the following will be possible this week:

- Sundin is named emperor of Europe and still signs with the Leafs
- Demitra gets lost in the world’s largest limo and is never heard from again
- Bernier ends up behind bars for his role in the Bigfoot thing
- Kesler ends up on the ticket with Obama (because this is a poor idea)
- Pyatt retires to pursue a hardcore gaming career
- Burrows is thrust into rehab after a bender of immense proportions powered primarily by the relaunch of Schlitz on tap
- Wellwood begins his painful re-introduction to society
- Fin applies for a new gig with the happy, gun-toting Disney corporation

So, yeah, I’ll check back in next week. But once again with gusto…OH CLARK.

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