Canucks = Fail

This Is Progress?

Feb 1st, 2009 | By Mike | Category: Canucks = Fail, Incessant Bitching, Rants, Reviews

February 1 – Roughly four weeks until the trade deadline. Roughly eight weeks until the end of the season.

And the Canucks have lost nine at home and are two more losses away from tying their franchise record for consecutive defeats.

And some would call last night progress. Would you?



Do Or Do Not…There Is No Try

Jan 31st, 2009 | By Mike | Category: Canucks = Fail, News, Previews

January 31 – Well thank God this month is over huh? You think they can turn this skid around tonight? And if they don’t shouldn’t we just own up to being the worst team in the league? At least we’d have an identity.



Seven…Seven Straight Losses (Ah Ah Ah)!

Jan 29th, 2009 | By Mike | Category: Canucks = Fail, News, awwwww shit

January 29 – Remember earlier this year when the Canucks teased a marketing campaign with the word Seven? Who knew that number would be so relevant just a few months later, only now it’s the man behind the bench who needs to be “retired.” If you’re so inclined, let your voice be heard.



Luongo Returns, Everyone Else Leaves For Hawaii Early

Jan 21st, 2009 | By Mike | Category: Canucks = Fail, News

January 21: Sure, Vancouver took it to the Sharks but the end result seems oddly the same as the rest of January, a month in which they have eight points out of a possible 20. And even the nicest grade school teacher knows that’s an F.



It’s the end of Vigneault as we know it (and I feel fine)

Jan 16th, 2009 | By Mike | Category: Canucks = Fail, Incessant Bitching, Rants

January 16: No more excuses. No more games like last night (or like against the Devils or the Sharks or the Caps). No more. It’s nothing personal Alain. It’s just time. Pull the trigger Mike.



It’s That Time Again

Jan 14th, 2009 | By Mike | Category: Canucks = Fail, Incessant Bitching, Rants

January 14: I think we can agree that the Canucks have been painfully average. Luongo returning should help that, but what if it doesn’t? How do you fix that before this season is officially lost? Forget adding new players, here’s a novel idea: axe the coach.



The three-ring management circus continues

Jul 8th, 2008 | By Mike | Category: Canucks = Fail

On a day where things were mildly looking up for once – with news that Demitra thinks we can win a Cup and Sundin (like Elvis?) – was spotted in town, this Bernier thing comes down the pike.
I have only a few seconds to put my two cents out there so here goes:
1. Backes and [...]



Anatomy of a Failure, Chapter III: Offense

May 8th, 2008 | By Mike | Category: Canucks = Fail

Every one of the teams in the second round had an aggressive offensive flow lead and supported by some of the most talented guys on this planet. It’s not all the big ticket names either: new guys like the Kostitsyns, Umberger and Pavelski, out of nowhere guys like Clowe and Franzen, agitators like Ruutu, Morrow [...]



This donut’s been dunked

Apr 14th, 2008 | By Mike | Category: Canucks = Fail

So there I was enjoying a damn fine sandwich at the local pub taking in yet another sad appearance by Ottawa against Pittsburgh (seriously, the Sens looked like the Canucks out there with their dump and chase, perimeter-only style of play) when the CBC was kind enough to run a crawl saying “Canucks Fire GM [...]



Anatomy of a Failure, Chapter II: Defense

Apr 12th, 2008 | By Mike | Category: Canucks = Fail

If goaltending is Vancouver’s best weapon, their staunch defense was supposed to be the insurance for that weapon, making it that much harder to score on a team with few goal scorers. A neat trick that worked a year ago, but one that failed miserably in its encore tour.
Beset by injuries from before day one [...]